Thursday, Feb. 2, 2023
Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.
— Wilbert Donald Gough
No matter how much two people love each other, no matter how compatible they are, no matter how great they are as lovers, they will confront matters and situations where their habits and differences will clash. When we face a frustrating obstacle, our first impulse is to blame the other person who doesn’t fit what we want. But our most effective way of improving our relationship is to look beyond that first impulse and focus on what we can change: ourselves.
We need to persistently be the best partner we know how to be. Our partner is not a model of our own creation and was not put on this earth just to fulfill our own image. As good partners, we try to be good listeners and open ourselves to our beloved. We cut our partner some slack when it’s needed; we offer forgiveness. We don’t use our partner’s immature response as an excuse for us to be immature. We practice the kind of detachment that allows our partner self-determination. We don’t try to fix or mold our beloved to our wishes.
Today, I will focus on being the best partner I know how to be, regardless of what my partner says or does.