Feb. 2, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

Thursday, Feb. 2, 2023

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.

— Wilbert Donald Gough

No matter how much two people love each other, no matter how compatible they are, no matter how great they are as lovers, they will confront matters and situations where their habits and differences will clash. When we face a frustrating obstacle, our first impulse is to blame the other person who doesn’t fit what we want. But our most effective way of improving our relationship is to look beyond that first impulse and focus on what we can change: ourselves.

We need to persistently be the best partner we know how to be. Our partner is not a model of our own creation and was not put on this earth just to fulfill our own image. As good partners, we try to be good listeners and open ourselves to our beloved. We cut our partner some slack when it’s needed; we offer forgiveness. We don’t use our partner’s immature response as an excuse for us to be immature. We practice the kind of detachment that allows our partner self-determination. We don’t try to fix or mold our beloved to our wishes.

Today, I will focus on being the best partner I know how to be, regardless of what my partner says or does.

Hazelden Foundation

Feb. 2, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

Step by Step

Thursday, Feb. 2, 2023

Today, dependency is not confined to alcohol addiction and always impacts my relationships with other people. For years, I depended on alcohol to drown feelings I did not want or to “create” feelings I wanted and to shape my attitude and perspective. Is it no wonder that I depended on alcohol to define – in part – my relationships with other people? Honesty says yes! And my expectations in those relationships were either to dominate THEM, or to be so emotionally clinging and dependent on them that MY unrealistic expectations drove them away. Now, in recovery, I have to admit that quitting drinking is not enough, that I must also be clean in my relationships and find the compromise between being the dominant one – and the needy one. Today, I begin the search for the way to be a contributor to healthy relationships. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2023

Feb. 2, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Thursday, Feb. 2, 2023

AA Thought for the Day

We got a kick out of the first few drinks, before we got stupefied by alcohol. For a while, the world seemed to look brighter. But how about the letdown, the terrible depression that comes the morning after? In AA, we get a real kick: not a false feeling of exhilaration, but a real feeling of satisfaction with ourselves, self-respect, and a feeling of friendliness toward the world. We got a sort of pleasure from drinking. For a while, we thought we were happy. But it’s only an illusion. The hangover the next day is the opposite of pleasure.

In AA, am I getting real pleasure and serenity and peace?

Meditation for the Day

I will practice love, because lack of love will block the way. I will try to see good in all people, those I like and also those who fret me and go against the grain. They are all children of God. I will try to give love; otherwise, how can I dwell in God’s spirit whence nothing unloving can come? I will try to get along with all people, because the more love I give away, the more I will have.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may do all I can to love others, in spite of their many faults. I pray that as I love, so will I be loved.

Hazelden Foundation

Feb. 2, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time

Thursday, Feb. 2, 2023

Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects.

Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?

Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the “why’s” of my blaming.

Today I Will Remember

Blame-saying is game-playing.

Hazelden Foundation

Feb. 2, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener

Thursday, Feb. 2, 2023

Probably no class of people has been brought into deep and turbulent waters of life to the extent of us alcoholics. Thousands of us were saved by a merciful God and emerged from our ordeal cleaner and stronger. That we were spared can be attributed only to the Grace of God. There is nothing haphazard about God’s actions. He led us into deep water for a purpose; He extracted us for a purpose. Be sure you fulfill that purpose.

Hazelden Foundation

Feb. 1, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2023

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Life is perfect, just the way it is and just the way it is not.

Peggy Bassett

Coming to believe that life is perfect however it is takes willingness and concentrated faith. Most of us waste precious hours every day wishing for something that isn’t. Will we ever learn?

It isn’t wrong to want some things to be different. If our own behavior can inspire positive changes in ourselves or others, then it’s not wrong to take responsibility for what we can do. What is futile, though, is assuming we know what is best for everyone. We can’t see the big picture. God gives us only what we need right now. What may look like trouble, what may appear as imperfect one minute, may be God’s greater plan. Let’s wait and see.

I will find comfort in the message that all is well. I will use that today if I get worried about how events seem to be unfolding.

Hazelden Foundation

Feb. 1, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

Step by Step

Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2023

Today, tear down the wall that bitterness has built between me and recovery, reconciliation with the world and myself, inclusion instead of exclusion from others in recovery who have found what I have not, a positive instead of a negative influence on everyone around me. Unlike anger, which in some cases is justified, bitterness has no justification. Like alcohol, the power of bitterness is in its destruction not only of everything and everyone around me, but of myself as well. And, like alcohol, bitterness is the epitome of selfishness, of rejection of all that is good and constructive – and a validated ticket to loneliness and isolation. With as much work as I expended on drinking, it takes as much if not more to keep bitterness going. Today, I’m too tired and disgusted with bitterness to give it the time and effort needed to fuel it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2023

Feb. 1, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2023

AA Thought for the Day

When we think about having a drink, we’re thinking of the kick we get out of drinking, the pleasure, the escape from boredom, the feeling of self-importance and the companionship of other drinkers. What we don’t think of is the letdown, the hangover, the remorse, the waste of money and the facing of another day. In other words, when we think about that first drink, we’re thinking of all the assets of drinking and none of the liabilities.

What has drinking really got that we haven’t got in AA? Do I believe that the liabilities of drinking outweigh the assets?

Meditation for the Day

I will start a new life each day. I will put the old mistakes away and start anew each day. God always offers me a fresh start. I will not be burdened or anxious. If God’s forgiveness were only for the righteous and those who had not sinned, where would be its need? I believe that God forgives us all of our sins, if we are honestly trying to live today the way He wants us to live. God forgives us much and we should be very grateful.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that my life may not be spoiled by worry and fear and selfishness. I pray that I may have a glad, thankful and humble heart.

Hazelden Foundation

Feb. 1, 2023 – Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time

Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2023

Reflection for the Day

The longer I’m in The Program, the more clearly I see why it’s important for me to understand why I do what I do and say what I say. In the process, I’m coming to realize what kind of person I really am. I see now, for example, that it’s far easier to be honest with other people than with myself. I’m learning, also, that we’re all hampered by our need to justify our actions and words.

Have I taken an inventory of myself as suggested in the Twelve Steps? Have I admitted my faults to myself, to God and to another human being?

Today I Pray

May I not be stalled in my recovery process by the enormity of The Program’s Fourth Step, taking a moral inventory of myself or by admitting these shortcomings to myself, to God and to another human being. May I know that honesty to myself about myself is all-important.

Today I Will Remember

I cannot mend if I bend the truth.

Hazelden Foundation