Friday, May 7, 2021
Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
No man who sets out to achieve total masculinity can ever be man enough. — Frank Pittman
Some people attack the whole idea of masculinity as a problem in the world. They claim it is the cause of wars, abuse, and the reckless pursuit of power. As grown-up men, we know that those people are speaking of masculinity that has not grown up. Boys trying to be men take the appearance of masculinity to extremes. They look at masculinity from the outside: they know they have not yet achieved it, so they try to imitate it.
As adult men, we have come to terms with ourselves and with life. We carry the values of strength and protection of those we love, and we value our virility for all its pleasures. We also know from life experience that all men are complex; we don’t need to hide our vulnerability in order to be strong. We don’t have to worry about our masculinity, because that is a given. We don’t have to prove it to ourselves or anyone else. From that grown-up perspective, we accept ourselves as both strong and gentle, capable both of fighting for what we believe in and yielding to others when that’s what’s called for.
Today, I accept that I have nothing to prove about being a man, and I can grow in all the ways any adult needs to continue to grow.